in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off
did you get an A
- In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
- Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
- In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
- Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
- In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
- Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
- In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
- Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
- In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
- Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.
It sucks being the boy who has to tell his parents,
“I’m not your little girl anymore.”
So don’t tell me this is easy.
It’s the most heart breaking thing,
It can easily turn the brightest of days
Into a melancholy hate fest
With just a few slurs
And you never think it would get to that,
But when it does
it all comes at you faster than you can say
“I didn’t know love had exceptions.”
But I guess in this situation it does..
Im Sorry about your daughter
And I’m sorry I’m the one took her away from you.
But your son has always been here.
i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.
when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.
maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.
is that magic??
honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.